20 Tips for The Inner Procrastinator

Sorry I'm late

I had writers block, you know.

Over this post, as though it mattered.

Procrastination.

Procrastination in action

A long word .

For me, the toughest thing when commencing a day in the (virtual) office is procrastination.

Of course, it doesn't come with a label.

That would be too obvious

It is far more insidious than that.

For me, it manifests as an urge to check in to social media.

Just to see how everyone is, and. you know, whether I missed anything important overnight, or maybe

the weather, in case it should take a turn for the worse today, or-

You get the idea.

I'm sure it's the same for many.

Temptation comes in a wide variety of flavours


I thought I could resist easily,

Having cast aside the vices of a lifetime.

Well, two of them.

 I used to say that people who gave up drinking and smoking didn't actually live longer ; it just feels like it.

Anyway, do I feel better for it ?

Well, yes and no.


Normally health benefits would be associated with giving up such vices.

But as I now fight a daily battle with an aggressive form of MS , I laugh at the irony.

Forgive me though - I have veered from the point.
No more talk of my aches and pains.
I'll save that for Farcebook:
or,you know, just stop whining.

In this age of online clickbait and eye-catching headlines designed to reel in the unwary,
the latterday fishers of men are the likes of  buzzfeed.
Not that they offer salvation , or anything useful really ;
their purpose is merely to trap the unwary in a turbulent sea of memes-
 a whirlpool which leads to the centre where all matter is vanquished and only clickbait prevails.

When I say fishers of men, I mean mankind as in men and women-
perhaps I should say humankind,
not to be chauvinistic or partaking in the patriarchal monologue
Or whatever politically correct distraction inflames the senses of the gentlefolk of t'interwebs these days.
I read somewhere that we live in the Age of Instant Outrage-

It seems to be the case that the merest hint of a cause to fight for galvanises the online masses.
And alongside an almost complete inability to check facts , we get witch hunts .

These days, I tend to find myself easily 'flipped' in the emotive sense.
Triggers abound.
Red rags to a bull, and all that.

Whether it's linked to my condition, I don't know.
Righteous indignation is almost a currency online -
it translates into clicks which results in revenue, or at the very least more readers and therefore more likes.

Inventory of  Everything

I was going to opine at length on the latest data from the New Horizons flyby of Pluto, but I disconsolately thought 'so what?'
The off - hand dismissal worthy of a sullen teen.

Earlier, I found myself online, berating someone for writing a piece which was horribly obtuse and wilfully pretentious.
Then I looked in the mirror.

Ahem

Then I wondered whether to write about attempts to outlaw the use of links.

In the end, I decided not to do anything.

Procrastination.

Which is where I came in.

P.S. I am sorry that there are no actual tips to aid with procrastination, for which I apologise. It just seemed an appropriate title.
P.P.S. Just Do It ?
P.P.P.S. No, I think that's a patented slogan. Oh well.